Tuesday, January 01, 2013

I No Understand

For years, whenever someone has called with an "offer" for some great "deal" that I have no intention of taking advantage of, I've fantasized about stopping them in the middle of their spiel and saying, in a THICK, THICK English (American) accent "do you speak English? I'm sorry, I no speak Hebrew."

It would be a lot easier to say to these people (who I know are making peanuts, trying to sell a little something for a lousy commission, so I don't want to be rude to them) "I'm sorry, but this isn't something that I'm interested in."

But they won't take a 'no.' They continue to rattle on..."why won't you buy? It's a wonderful opportunity. You'll never get another opportunity like this ever again. Just try it and see what you can win!......"

Well, you know and I know that, for instance, the Israel lottery doesn't have a multi-billion shekel profit every year because they pay out all of their earnings in prizes...somewhere, someone isn't winning. So I don't play because I know darned well that the someone is going to be me. 

But the salespeople start up on the phone and I can't get rid of them. And I'm too polite to just hang up, which is what I should probably do to begin with (as I said, I know that the people making these calls are earning bubkas and that they, themselves, aren't jerks...their employer is).

So today, when the lottery salesperson called and started her endless pitch, I just cut her off in my thick American accent and made it seem as though I couldn't understand a single word that she was saying.

End of story. And I figure that if God has a few million extra shekels out there for me, I'll get them one way or another.

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