I had a dream a few nights ago. I was dreaming that I was living during the holocaust, frantically digging a hole in the ground in preparation to go into hiding with my children. I was packing, trying to think about everything that we'd need for an extended period of hiding, trying to calm my children, and just trying to stay calm. Suddenly, someone I know lay down next to me, on his stomach, with his head in his hands, and just stayed that way, watching me. Then, he got up, said "I have to go now" and walked out. That scene keeps playing itself out in my mind.
It also reminds me that, evacuated or not, I have things relatively easy. I can manage with my funds, get around, work, and I have a home (friends' home,but it's still a home) to move around in. I don't have small children to entertain (though Margalit is a challenge....if she were cloned I'd be in big trouble), and am not squeezed in with too many other people.
How could the people who hid in barns, under houses, in attics....how could they survive, emotionally and mentally, a mere 65 years ago? For years, in some cases? With little food, no air, no entertainment....I don't know how they did it.
Avishai called last night. They were on their way up to Kibbutz Snir, and were going to be crossing into Lebanon last night. I will never again read the news about soldiers being hurt or killed in the same way. For some reason, I didn't feel so panic-stricken when he was in Gaza, or even jenin, even thought the terrorists there didn't want to kill the soldiers any less than they do in Lebanon. But this is war, and things are different. I told him that I wasn't worried, and that everything would be fine, and I'd look forward to seeing him soon. I've read that soldier's biggest worry is the concern about their family's worry, and I didn't want Avishai feeling that pressure. But it's intense, thinking about him all day.
Yochi and Hagai are scheduled to come home tomorrow. I need to find a way to bring them to Jerusalem by train, because there's going to be a Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem tomorrow, (or a demonstration because the parade wasn't allowed to go forth...I'm not clear on which) and I'm betting that traffic will be backed up.
It'll be great to see them after their America adventure.