Friday, March 10, 2006

Welcome back

Haven't posted for awhile, but it doesn't mean that I haven't thought about putting recent events down in writing...just haven't had time. I have, to put it as simply as possible, very little time for myself. Oh well, I guess being bored would be worse.

A young woman came into the Visitors Center yesterday. She was part of a UJC mission from Palm Beach, and was enthralled (as so many people are) by the city. It is very picturesque and quaint from the outside, and frankly, from the inside, it's pretty nice.

Anyway, she was very emotional about her visit, and said that she felt drawn to Tzfat, and kept crying, and didn't know why. I told her that perhaps, she had been here in one of her previous reincarnations (gilgulim in hebrew), and she somehow remembered it. Or maybe her soul was just telling her that Tzfat "spoke" to her her in some way, and she was being encouraged to come back, study, connect, whatever.

It sounds kind of hokey, but I do know that things that I once dismissed as "too other-worldly" or "weird" or "mumble-jumble" can't be so easily dismissed...there are too many things that happen that we can't understand, and sometimes, it's just best to give yourself over to the realization that there are things out there that are beyond our understanding, it's our "job" to do the best that we can with what we're given.

The concept of reincarnation sounds nuts, but, well, why do some people have such a hard row to hoe? Why is life so hard for some people? Why do some people seem to look for trouble, for abuse? Why are some people so seemingly angry when other people who have a much harder life never show anger and always seem to be happy? Could it be that some people have a "tikun", a rectification of something that happened in a previous life, that they have to go through?

I think about this a lot because my 18-year-old, Ariella, has always been a very difficult person to be around. Pregnancy with her was difficult, her birth was difficult, and from the first day that I brought her home from the hospital, she was never consolable, never calm, never happy. Today, she's hurt and angry, and deals with those feelings by being demanding and selfish and rebelling against any boundries. Why? Why her? And why couldn't I have found a way to help her a long time ago?

To say that I feel guilty is an understatement, but at some point, I also feel that there are some things that are out of my [our] control, and I have to give myself up to that and just pray that things will come out for the best.

OK, enough. Purim! Barbque with friends! Costumes! HAPPINESS!!! Hope that there will be pictures for posting soon!

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